Thursday, May 8, 2008

Ripped from the Headlines of Platypi Weekly

So it seems a group of scientists has been diligently working through the last two years to produce for mankind the complete genome of the duckbill platypus (pictured right).

Whew! Allow me to wipe a brow... I was worried that we'd forget about this. I mean, with that whole pesky economy, and war, and election thingy, and Miley Cyrus not appearing naked even though if you took away all the things covering her she'd then be naked.

"It's such a wacky organism,"
said Richard Wilson, director of the genome
center at Washington University in St. Louis

"Wacky" - That's a scientific term which has been carefully culled to describe the efforts of this probing two year effort to definitely define this animal. This jackass actually gets paid for this. Hell, I'd love to be paid to map out all the episodes of Frasier, but that ain't happening anytime soon.

Now that we have this valuable information, what to do with it? Cure platypi cancer? Change 'em all to ducks? Perhaps make them more normal looking beavers? Or.. perhaps the last laugh is on us.. maybe this is a secret government study to create supersmart platypi and turn them into bomb delivering agents?

Read it and weep